Disturbing Bad Dreams

April 11, 2007 in life, nightmares

A week has past since I relocate here in Lipa City from Makati. I can say I have a lot of good times here, nice sleep, nice place, clean, and silent. But recently I was very disturbed by frequent bad dreams. I can’t count how many times because most of them just disappear in split-of-a-second after I wake up. I can recount at least 5-7 times.

As I write this entry I can still clearly recall what happened. My cousin Imee lives in Kingswood Condmonium in Makati. I visited her there and did some “kamustahan”. I left her and return home. I did not walk or commute, I fly!!! yes I fly back home. While I’m on my way back home, I felt very unease and hot, it’s like my body is burning. When I’m, home my son and daughter greeted me, I have a son and daughter there. I still feel hot and burning and its flaming my whole body. You wont believe what is happening, my body is transforming… transforming into a devil… monster creature… While I am suffering from pain, I’, begging Him and asking him what is happening. I am talking to Him, our God. This time I found out that I am not really human, I am a devil. He told me, my mission is complete, I already had a son and daughter who are servers of God. And I am finished. I felt my heart will burst with blood and my body will be scattered when suddenly I waked up. My girlfriend waked me up because she said I am too silent sleeping and my saliva is already flowing through our bedsheets. I can’t talked that time, it was frightening and I am completely scared. I am still alive!! I hugged her and told her I am alright, I did not tell him the whole story, I’m afraid she can’t take it.

That same night maybe by conincident, we had brownout in Lipa at exatcly 12:00 midnight. So we decided to go out because its hot in the room. 5 minutes after, it was restored. A night before, I waked up my gf because she had a bad dreams a women is kicking her painfully.

My friend made me realized that it can be caused by sudden changes in my life, the concerns that I felt with my career, and insecurities that’s killing me everyday if I can really do the job well. As we talked I realized that these dreams can be directly related to what I feel and my body could be just reacting to the situation. I fear that I can’t handle the responsibilities because I am very young and inexperienced.

The room is also newly painted and it is said our body is very sensitive in responding to these chemical reactions. While the room is well-ventilated, it might be some smell that contributes to situation.

Am I very religious? No. I can

Did I go to catholic school? No. The last time I attended the mass… I cant remember.

On the side note, while I have these bad dream I also had good ones here.

Now I was thinking either I look for another room in same apartment or change my sleeping patterns.